Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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