dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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