I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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