We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
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Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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