**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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