I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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