ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
