is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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