He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
