Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
