You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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