So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
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Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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