She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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