respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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