Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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