The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
