ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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