take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize