first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
