she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
