if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize