They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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