the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
