Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
