In the future we'll all be gay
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
