i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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