Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
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I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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