He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want to have your abortion
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
