So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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