Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize