so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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