The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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