we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sorry about my life...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
