i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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