I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it because I queefed?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
