OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
