so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
