just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
