your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Welp...herpes.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
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It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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