Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
