nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
