You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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