I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
