Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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