My brain says no but my pants say off.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
