i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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