remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
