We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
