JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize