duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
