love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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