and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
