worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
