Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
