Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
