I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
