Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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