idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
